Media & Mercy: The Liar's Club

Arguably, the thread of Mary Karr’s unofficial trilogy of memoirs—The Liar’s Club¸ which simultaneously tells the stories of her troubled childhood and the warped romance between her alcoholic parents; Cherry, which chronicles her time as a teenage runaway; and Lit, in which she overcomes her own addictions and becomes a writer, mother, and Catholic—is forgiveness. This isn’t particularly surprising. For one thing, the parental offenses that Karr needs to forgive (which include neglect, deception, and two murder attempts) are gargantuan, and could easily take more than a lifetime to work through. And, for another, learning how to forgive offenses is one of the hardest things about being Catholic (or, at the very least, it’s proven to be one of the hardest things for me). It only stands to reason that she’d have a lot to say about it.

Before my conversion, I believed that forgiveness wasn’t particularly useful. Anger, however: anger was something that could save me. By clinging to old grudges, I thought that I was setting examples for myself of the things that I didn’t want to be. This is the approach that, for much of her life, Karr took towards her mother. By refusing to forgive the woman’s alcoholism or mental illness, she thought that she could avoid such afflictions herself.

For those who know better, it should be no surprise where this attitude leads her. By the events of Lit, she’s stymied by demons of her own, alcoholism and mental illness among them. Ultimately, anger and resentment do nothing for Karr. It’s only when she resolves to forgive her mother (a journey that, ultimately, leads her to God) that she’s able to move past the trauma of her past, reach her full potential, and appreciate the things her mother does have to offer. 

Far from setting an example, resentment only serves to mire us in old, destructive patterns. It’s impossible to see oneself clearly from such a perspective, to say nothing of another person. But once we’ve reached a place of forgiveness, we—much like Karr, I’d imagine—will be able to truly see the gifts of those around us, and share our gifts in turn.

Teresa de Mallorca is the pseudonym of a neophyte who just completed the RCIA program at Holy Name

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