Media & Mercy - Entering Their World

In general, I try to steer clear of generalizations; but, nevertheless, I would hazard that virtually everybody living in the United States has an opinion about poverty. There are plenty of people in this country who are apolitical, and for whom phrases like about welfare reform, support nets, and public policy mean nothing; but even they have opinions about the panhandler in the North Face jacket, or the mother buying Coca-Cola with her LINK card. Too often, living under the poverty line is part-and-parcel with living under a cloud of unsolicited criticism. The idea held by many is that, as a low-income individual, you must be incapable of having a healthy relationship with your possessions—that, if you struggle to provide food and clothing for your family, there must be something you’re doing wrong. 

Needless to say, this attitude exhibits little in the way of mercy. Instead of entering into the chaos of another, it stands outside and judges. From the interior, however, things look rather different. Oftentimes, what seems like wasteful spending to an observer is a survival skill for someone mired in a low-income situation.

Few books explore these circumstances in more detail than Adrian Nicole LeBlanc’s Random Family. Among the many real-life single mothers she profiles, CoCo (who becomes a mother at the age of 15) is the most committed to keeping her five children in good clothes. For her girls, this means plenty of sequins and sparkles; for her son, this means nothing less than designer wear, since she believes that it isn’t otherwise possible to distinguish a well-dressed boy from his peers. This commitment does not waver even when she loses her food stamps, or their apartment becomes infested with so many cockroaches that her eldest daughter is obligated to wring them from her sisters’ clothes before they get dressed for school. 

However, what seems like an outrageous waste of resources is actually Coco’s way of preparing for their future. She worries that, if she allows her children to look poor, they’ll be written off as lost causes. Because people will be so quick to assume that they’ve been warped by their upbringings, they won’t bother to look for gifts or talent. 

Oftentimes, when trying to help, the urge to correct becomes overwhelming. Many readers of Random Family will probably feel compelled to grab CoCo by the shoulders and denounce the evils of materialism—I certainly know that I did. However, as Christ himself says, we should be mindful of the splinters in our eyes before we attempt to pluck them from those of another. What are we doing to clothe Coco’s children? Are we actually attempting to enter their world, and meet their needs—or are we limiting ourselves to the roles of judges?

Teresa de Mallorca is the pseudonym of a neophyte who just completed the RCIA program at Holy Name

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