The Doubtful
We all face moments of doubts in our lives. Maybe the career doesn’t seem as fulfilling as you envisioned it would be. Maybe losing a job and being forced to move across the country has shaken your faith. We often encounter these moments when life doesn’t provide the answers and peace you thought it would.
How do we respond? Having doubts can make us seem tentative or uncertain. Our culture isn’t always patient with such people. Displays of certainty and conviction are more prized over moments of doubts or contemplation. The sound bites over the long explanations. The tentative may come across as wishy washy. Because having doubts can be uncomfortable, it may push us to make quick decisions. With the Internet, making those decisions seem easier with the world’s answers and opinions at our fingertips.
With all this information, however, it’s hard to discern what advice is good and what is useful. It’s at these times that we are often best served by speaking with others and be willing to learn from them. Having the humility to reach out for help and guidance is a path to spiritual growth for as Proverbs 19:20 says, “listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may eventually become wise.”
To doubt can be a virtue if we are open to the people the Holy Spirit sends our way, are willing to examine our assumptions, and listen and discern the wisdom from others.
The Counselor
Without a doubt (pun intended), graces are bestowed onto those who seek guidance and are open to who and what God sends in our paths. However, this spiritual work of mercy has two actors: those who doubt and those who counsel. It’s not just the doubtful who grows spiritually; God also smiles on those who are willing to counsel and advise.
In my experience as an RCIA sponsor, I have heard others worry that they don’t think they are qualified to be a sponsor because they don’t have all the answers or don’t know the “right” way to express answers to help others become Catholic.
However, I’ve found that people don’t necessarily want human answer banks. That’s what the Internet is for.
They need a friend to help weigh perspectives and opinions so that they can craft their own answers that speaks to their particular situations and in their own words. I walk with each on his or her journey to finding answers. I am a sounding board as we both weigh pros and cons/the good and bad together. I ask questions to bring up other points of view. I offer insights from those who gone through similar experiences.
Oftentimes, counseling the doubtful isn’t about having all the answers, but is to be willing to be present as the doubtful wrestle with questions and issues. It’s about having the prudence to know when to hold back and when to give advice. It’s about knowing how to advise in ways that the doubter will listen versus tune out. It’s also about being humble if your advice isn’t taken or even found to be wrong.
Above all, it’s about having trust that the Holy Spirit will guide what you say or don’t say, what you do or don’t do. It’s having trust that the other person will receive your counsel in ways that best works for him or her, even if you can’t see it.
What has been your experience? How have you responded to those moments of doubts? What ways do you think best guides others, such as friends, children, co-workers?
P. Gonzales
RCIA Sponsor
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