Communicating with Mercy and Love
Many aspects of Pope Francis's North America visit inspired us. One interesting and consistent theme was the way he communicated difficult messages with the spirit of fraternity and mutual hope. Whether it was his meeting with Fidel Castro or speaking to the U.S. Congress, he made frequent use of words like familial and brother. He did not criticize, reprimand or admonish those he was visiting. Rather, he sought to build relationships through love and common goals.
Each week this summer, we have explored an Act of Mercy through the profile of the beautiful
merciful work of an individual or organization. Pope Francis is easily someone who exemplifies mercy in the act of Admonishing the Sinner. But this week we invite you to reflect on your own profile and how this act is (or is not) practiced in your daily lives. This spiritual Act of Mercy may be one of the most, if not the most, difficult for us as lay people.
If you start with the words themselves, it is likely you have a visceral reaction: “What me? Admonish someone? Tell them they have sinned?” In today’s culture, the word “admonish,” evokes a rather judgmental meaning. Merriam-Webster defines it as “to speak to (someone) in a way that expresses disapproval or criticism.”And "sinner" is something we pray over each Sunday but are not necessarily truly acknowledge ourselves, let alone talk to someone else about their "sins."
“Admonish” in the biblical context means something quite different. The etymology of the word is from the Latin
admoner meaning “to urge by warning" and related to
submoner meaning
"to advise privately.
" We would not hesitate to warn someone about something that may cause them physical harm – watch out for the oncoming car, watch out for the object you are about to walk into while texting or naturally cautioning a child to move away the edge. Here, admonish is about helping others change what they are doing so they won't get hurt.
So why is it so hard to talk to someone about something that could be harming them spiritually, not just in the moment but for their eternal souls? No doubt we live in times of heightened sensitivities and people are quick to react to any type of criticism. The prevalence of social media communications encourages one-way dialogues and discourages the nuance of context in 140 characters. But it is more likely a fundamental issue with our general discomfort with sin.
Consider your personal journey to Admonish the Sinner as a series of concentric circles or layers all encompassed by God's love. The core is your personal relationship to sin. Since Original Sin, Christ showed us we are all sinners. “
Though the just fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble from only one mishap.” (Proverbs 24:16). We are faced with sinful ways every day and we need to “admonish” ourselves, to urge ourselves to be strong and resist or repent.
Read Jennifer Delvaux's Sunday posting for inspiration.
The next layer or circle is with others where you have an established relationship. It might be a family member or someone to whom you are a "brother or a sister" as described by Pope Francis. The key is the relationship is based in love upon which you can have a discussion. To avoid defensiveness, it is important to share based on how the other person's behavior affects you and why you are concerned. Brusque and judgmental commentary could backfire, causing the person to shut you out or even worse, move away from the church.
On the outer layer or circle is where you are able to share this more broadly in the world, where you don't have direct relationships but can exemplify being a "brother or sister." The self-righteous hypocrisy of the Pharisees provide a good example of what not to do. Rather, seek ways to be a visible example of someone who is aware and owning your sins, working every day to live as a Disciple of Christ. What can you do to encourage others to become more active in their faith or return to church to find a place of solace and forgiveness?
What are ways you can lovingly encourage others to reflect on their own sins and actively reach out for mercy and forgiveness, perhaps starting with the Sacrament of Reconciliation? How can you live a life that inspire others where you don't have a relationship? What are ways to make "admonishing" a positive activity that increases receptivity?
Jesus encourages us to be accountable for others but always from a place where we regularly repent for our own sins. “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" (John 8:7).
Lori Doyle served as the Chair of the Parish Pastoral Council and is an active member of the HNC Liturgical Ministries as a Lector, EMHC, Cathedral Altar Server and a Minister of Care at Prentice/NW Hospital.
As a young child in school and as a novice at the convent, Thérèse was bullied. Rather than taking revenge or “evening up the score”, she kept silent and shifted her focus to areas where she could make a positive difference, especially through prayer. This did not, however, mean that she did not struggle like the rest of us, both with unwarranted blame and daily annoyances.
