Pew to Pilgrim - Visit the Sick

The Art of Listening

A wise old owl lived in an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird? – Unknown Author

After years of serving as Ministers of Care at Northwestern Hospital, the practice of active listening has emerged as a far more important skill than we ever imagined. Visiting the Sick offers its greatest value by being present to the needs of another rather than performing a duty. This act of mercy calls us to be listening more and talking less. It is truly a privilege and a blessing to be a servant of God with those struggling with both physical and spiritual illnesses.

Visiting the sick is one of the six Corporal Acts of Mercy described in Matthew 25: “I was sick and you visited me.” For many, this is limited to members of our immediate family or perhaps the role of our priests and deacons for others. Why is that? Is it just the plain busyness of our lives and not having the time or is it a general discomfort with being around people who are sick, especially those in the hospital? Visiting the sick is more than checking a box on our To Do List for the week. It is an opportunity to practice our faith.

As with other Acts of Mercy, the practice of these deeds calls us to reach deeper into who we are as Catholics to find ways to follow in Christ’s footsteps. Visiting the sick offers us a path by “doing” less and "being" more. The best way to help the sick is to “be present” for them. Pay attention to the small signals they are sending to you. Lean more heavily on listening and less on speaking.

Think about a time you have been really sick and consider how you would feel to have a visitor. It’s likely you wouldn’t want someone who is talkative or entertaining. You would want someone who is compassionate and paying attention to how you are feeling at that moment. The person who is sick might want someone to listen to them, someone to talk with them, someone to read or watch TV with them or perhaps to sit quietly and pray with them. Noticing how a patient or someone who is ill is feeling at that moment can be the greatest gift of all.

When you visit the sick, you are entering their space. This is a time for you to put aside your worries and focus on allowing Christ to come into the room. Seek to understand where the patient is feeling and how their illness is affecting them today. Consider how they want you to be with them - take a seat if appropriate, hold their hand if they would like, see what they need and how you can make a difference in that moment.

There are many ways for all of us as Catholics to practice Visit the Sick:

• Pray for guidance on whom can benefit for your offer of the act of mercy - your priest, your parish ministries can help you connect you
• Volunteer at one of the many hospitals in the Chicagoland
• See how you can volunteer at a local nursing home or assisted living - maybe you can call Bingo!
• Check in on someone who has battled a serious illness; see how they are doing and let them know you are still praying for their health
• Pray for those who are ill and have no one to visit them; keep a list of those you meet or hear about who need your prayers
• Send flowers or a plant to someone who is ill; if they are in the hospital and cannot accept flowers, send gift cards for a restaurant or perhaps an Amazon gift card for a book or magazine subscription
• Volunteer to drive someone to a doctor's appointment; be there for someone when they are having medical tests done
• Sponsor an elderly person through the Catholic Foundation for Children and Aging (CFCA) - now called Unbound
• Become a Holy Name Cathedral Minister of Care - bring the Eucharist to the sick in the hospital or to the homebound; contact Julie Berggren
• Ask a priest about how to bring communion to someone who cannot come to church
• Volunteer for or donate to the Ronald McDonald House of Chicagoland for families with children being treated at Lurie Children's Hospital
• Volunteer to run errands for the patient or their families; what can you do to help the family have some semblance of normalcy
• Learn about a FOCUS mission to serve the those who are ill
• Consider illness comes in many forms: physical, mental, spiritual; investigate Catholic ministries to help those who are struggling with all three 
• Pray for the elderly in your family; you may not have seen them for awhile or they may be far away - pray for their physical and spiritual health
• Volunteer or donate to Bear Necessities for children with cancer and their families 
• Find ways to support Meals on Wheels in your neighborhood - donate your dollars or your time to make sure people who are too ill to get out for groceries or food have access to healthy meals
• Become a volunteer at Little Brothers, Friends of the Elderly
• Learn about patient advocates and what they do; become one at a hospital or in private practice 

Lori Doyle and Gabi Schultz  have served as members of the Parish Pastoral Council, active with a variety of Liturgical Ministries as Lectors, Extraordinary Ministers, Cathedral Altar Servers and Ministers of Care at Prentice Hospital/NW Hospital. Both parishioners for about 6 years, Lori loves to travel and cook and is a proud mother of her son John, a UM Wolverine. Gabi enjoys trying new restaurants, running, cooking lessons and spending time with friends and family.