Pew to Pilgrim - Bear Wrongs Patiently

“She was filled with nobility and goodness; told me once that happiness isn’t on the road to anything. That happiness is the road. Had also instructed me to be kind because everyone you’ll ever meet is fighting a hard battle.”

You likely don't know Flora Sara Stone who is being described above. I didn't either but recently came across two separate references about her. However, you definitely know her grandson, Robert Zimmerman, better known as Bob Dylan. He shared this great example of “values are caught, not taught” in his autobiography, Chronicles: Volume One.

I had a particularly “challenging” day yesterday, frequently calling upon God (and Flora's advice) for patience as I navigated the inefficiencies of our U.S. Post Office, watched every line at Costco move faster than mine as a customer in front of me argued with the cashier and avoided hitting two bike riders who ran a red light and then cursed me and another driver out even though we were the ones following the green signal.

Nothing remarkable, just the normal day-to-day challenges we all have in our many interactions with other people. I repeatedly said silently to myself, “A Bob Dylan Grandmother moment…you don’t know what battle they are fighting.” Phillipians 2:2-3 reminds us to take the perspective of the other: "Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but [also] everyone for those of others."

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This final spiritual Act of Mercy is perhaps one of our favorites, not because we are particularly good at practicing it but because it is so relatable. Everyone has had someone do ill upon them and have had difficulty with forgiveness or patience. "Bear Wrongs Patiently" causes us to pause multiple times each day and pray to God for the better person that we can become. 

The seven corporal (fyi, now eight - more on this in tomorrow's September 4 post) Acts of Mercy inspire many gestures of charity to meet the physical needs of others. The seven spiritual Acts of Mercy affect the human spirit or soul requiring a divine inspiration of grace. To "bear patiently" is to see others in the eyes of Jesus even when it is hard to do, especially when you have been hurt.

One of the best ways to see past someone's weaknesses and faults is through empathy. Imagine being in the other person's shoes. Are they going through a tough time? Are they used to handling things differently than you? Do they realize they hurt your feelings? Aligning yourself with another person's perspective really helps to understand where they are coming from and is helpful in the forgiveness process.

Also think about your own actions and words. Is there anyone that you may have done ill towards? You might not even be aware of it. Next time you find yourself getting angry at another driver or annoyed with the service at a restaurant or store, remember the bumper sticker "Be patient. God is not finished with me yet." Looking at ourselves and identifying ways we can behave more like Christ will often yield immediate results in our relationships and interactions.

There are many ways to practically perform this Act of Mercy. Every single person we interact with could use our patience and mercy, no matter who is right and who is wrong. 

   

• Make a list of what you have forgiven and times over the last week where you have successfully performed "bear wrongs patiently." - reflect on the process 
• Now make a list of things you have NOT forgiven or when you were not able to "be patient" or
  
  fell into "who is right and who is wrong" mode; reflect on the length of this list. You may find this list to be much longer - reflect on why this is and pray to God for greater patience. 
• Consider all of the benefits to your relationships if you were able to be more patient - how could you contribute to another person?
• Take some time to read about the health benefits of forgiveness and patience - learn about how holding on to stress actually harms your immune system. Patience benefits both giver and receiver.
• Be kind to yourself - this is considered a "lifelong practice" and you will be called upon by God to continue to work at this every day
• Read St. Thérèse of Liseux's autobiography The Story of a Soul
• Pray to St. Francis de Sales who wisely said "Heart speaks to heart; word speak only to ears."
• Think about your daily routine. Pick one thing that you can do more patiently.
• Is there someone you avoid because they hurt you? Reach out to them. See what is going on in their life.
• Attend Holy Name Cathedral's Prayer Service for Peace on Thursday, September 8 at 7p
• Offer a rosary for someone who hurt you
• Think about your loved ones. Ask them if they have been hurt by you and think of a way to make up for that ill act.
• Defend someone who is being gossiped about and work on not gossiping yourself
• Next time you get frustrated with someone, say an Our Father or Hail Mary.
• Offer a prayer for someone you think might need it...and remember Flora's advice "be kind because everyone you'll meet is fighting a hard battle."

Lori Doyle and Gabi Schultz are members of the Parish Pastoral Council, active with a variety of Liturgical Ministries as Lectors, Extraordinary Ministers, Cathedral Altar Servers and Ministers of Care at Prentice Hospital/NW Hospital. Both parishioners for about 6 years, Lori loves to travel and cook and is a proud mother of her son John, a UM Wolverine. Gabi enjoys trying new restaurants, running, cooking lessons and spending time with friends and family.