I don’t have a particular person in mind. It can be anybody, really. The reason that I’m looking forward to it isn’t because I’m a glutton for punishment, but rather because it’s the area where I expect to see the most concrete changes in my behavior.
Before my baptism, the bulk of my adult life was spent as an irreligious Millennial living in a liberal American metropolis. And, like many members of that group, I firmly believed in the importance of “calling people out.” According to my previous mindset, anyone who erred or mis-stepped was obligated to reckon with their failings immediately. I truly believed that it was better to judge than forgive. Sure, forgiveness sounded nice: but only judgement and shame cut deeply enough to ensure that social circles could be kept clean of abrasive, unpleasant behavior.
It wasn’t until I became a Catholic that I was forced to consider what it meant to share a Body with people that made me uncomfortable. This, I think, is one of the main benefits of praying for the living and the dead. It’s tempting to pray exclusively for our friends and family; but praying on such a grand, cosmic scale can teach you how to replace your conception of community with God’s.
In retrospect, this idea sounds so obvious that I can’t help but wonder how I missed it. As such, I’ve been re-examining the media of my past, trying to figure out whether forgiveness and unity were really that foreign to me.
A surprising place where I saw them at work was in Steve Carrel’s version of “The Office.” I used to watch the show obsessively, even though it oftentimes left me feeling dissatisfied. I thought that Carrel’s character, Michael Scott, was forgiven for his boorish, bigoted behavior too often. There was a loneliness and sadness that underpinned his eccentricities; but I thought they failed to excuse the way he made the people around him feel irritated and uncomfortable.
Of course, by clinging to this opinion, I failed to realize the whole point of the show. The idea that there are certain characteristics that make a person “worthy” of being part of a community is inherently unmerciful. And, without mercy, people can barely manage to keep their heads above the miasma of life, let alone gain enough leverage to climb out and better themselves. Thanks to the faith that his co-workers placed in him (and regardless of the fact that he was never really “deserving” of it), Michael Scott managed to become a better man.
Before we can manage to help others, we need to be helped by others. And before we can achieve a feeling of connection with God’s creation, we need to open ourselves to all aspects of his creation—even those that leave us feeling uncomfortable.
Teresa de Mallorca is the pseudonym of a neophyte who just completed the RCIA program at Holy Name
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